Epiphany Epiphany
Redoing that post because it was important for me to remember. I’m not going to give a fuck anymore. It’s just who I am. It’s not my fault. I’ll make choices and they won’t be deferential to anyone. I hate the fucking coach and the fucking self righteous captains. It’s not my fault, but i guess it’s not totally theirs either. It’s just the way things are and I’m just going to go with the flow of my desires. I really hate everyone right now and I’m tired of trying to please people. I’m not going to cry about it anymore. I have to stop that. Stop trying to please my English teachers, my former friends, my current “friends” who act like such bitches. I’ll only be nice when I feel like it or if it benefits me. Today at the mall this lady was being a disgusting bitch. I just bought a perfect present for my friend ‘s bday and she insisted that she “was going to buy that ” all because she put it on the counter and then left. She was throwing a fit and even when I said okay, I’ll just return it and let her have it, she still had a bad attitude. I should have said, fuck you, I bought it first. She was lucky I was nice enough to let her have it. She truly didn’t deserve it. Wow I really hate her. I don’t want to self depreciate anymore. It’s not my fucking fault I was born this way. Wired differently than others. It’s really too bad I can’t fit in. Maybe things will even turn out better this way since I won’t feel so afraid and insecure anymore.
